Priority #3 – Children

Are you longing for a happy and peaceful home? Believers all across the United States are longing for a Christ-honoring home, yet in reality, their homes are filled with bickering, hollering, screaming — and even abuse — as parents struggle to control their children.  If you came to this site looking for some answers to your parenting problems, congratulations!  God’s Word really does have some practical answers that can help you.

First, since this is an article about priorities, let’s do a check.  How is your relationship with God? If you haven’t settled in your mind that God is first, then you really need to start there.  Why?  Because God’s parenting advice doesn’t always match the advice you’ll read in popular parenting magazines or that you’ll hear from your buddies.  So before you start to make some changes, you need to settle in your mind whose advice you’ll listen to — God’s or the world’s.

Now I’ve noticed that many sincere Christians say that God is their first priority, but then they immediately disobey God in the area of marriage.  How are you doing in this area?  Wives, do you submit to your husbands?  Are you characterized by the following traits
listed in the Amplified Bible…

“And let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband – that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him, and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.” (Ephesians 5:22-24)

If you’re doing everything else “right” but failing in your marriage, I can guarantee that you’ll have trouble with your kids.  So I urge you to prayerfully consider this area of your life.

Finally, let’s look at some practical biblical advice for parenting.  To be an effective parent, you really only need practice two key principles, laid out for us in Ephesians 6:1-4.

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

Principle #1:  Require obedience and honor of your children.

You can teach your children to obey, but to do so, you need to be consistent. Say what you mean and mean what you say.  If you ask your daughter to come to you, require her to come the first time you call.  I’ve heard it said that kids have no problem with first-time obedience — only parents do!  We get lazy and give commands so many times that our kids begin to get lazy, too.  They decide to “gamble” with us, betting that we don’t mean what we say so they can continue doing what they want.  Keep in mind that if we don’t teach our kids to obey us the first time we speak, they probably will have a hard time learning to obey God the first time He speaks!

As you teach your children to obey, expect them to do so with a good attitude.  If they obey immediately, but do it with a bad spirit, how are they fulfilling God’s command to honor their parents?  Make it a rule that in your home, disrespect is as frowned on as direct disobedience.

Principle #2:  Don’t provoke. Train.

A simple way to do this is to have consistent consequences for disobedience and consistent rewards for behavior that pleases God.  Many online resources (see www.doorposts.net or Raising Godly Tomatoes, for instance) can help you set some up, but the key is to be consistent.  Your kids thrive when they know what to expect.

In our home, we have set up standards ahead of time that we expect of our kids.  If they lie, disobey a command, or hit a sibling, our children already know what the consequences will be.  Our duty as parents is just to carry through on what we said would happen.
Yes, our kids may cry, but then the punishment is over and we can all carry on with our lives.  Parenting becomes simpler and kids become more secure.  We also have set up standards of holiness that we want to train our children to, and when our kids learn to be courageous, helpful or kind, we have rewards (the Bible calls them “blessings”) already in place — maybe a chocolate cake for dessert, maybe a new toy, maybe some special time with Daddy, maybe a crown to wear all day.

Let me emphasize again that the key to parenting is consistency.  If Suzie doesn’t obey the first time you speak, take her in the other room, remind her how she disobeyed her, carry out the consequence you set in advance, hug and carry on with your life.  You’ll find you lose your temper less and that Suzie will obey you the next time you speak!

Women’s Issues

Sometimes it’s hard to know what the Bible expects of us as wives and moms. Many women have created web pages full of information that can make it easier. Try some of these…

Having Children

I have seven children, and for several years I have been researching how to give my children the best start possible. I believe that one of my responsibilities as a mom is to take care of myself so I have enough left to give my children. Also, I believe that health begins before birth and can affect several generations to come. Finally, I believe that, while health is important, our children’s spiritual health is even more vital. Below, you will find links that can encourage you whether you’re pregnant or taking care of young children.

Pregnancy

Are you pregnant or nursing? At no other time in your life will the need for great nutrition be so important — for your baby needs so much to grow! Eating healthy doesn’t have to be hard. Read through these links to find out why good nutrition is so important — and to get a great list of foods you simply must eat every day.

Before You’re Pregnant

The sites I list below are noted for their natural family planning. That means, they will teach you how to understand how your body works so that you can try to conceive (or prevent pregnancy) without having to use contraceptives that could harm a baby or you. I believe that family planning is a personal decision but I urge you to also consider the consequences
of the choices you make.

Benefits of Pregnancy and Motherhood (some interesting articles)

Pregnancy Resources

Once you find out that you’re pregnant, you’ll be so excited. You’ll also discover the vast amount of information available to pregnant women. Some of it is reassuring… some is scary. Sometimes sources contradict each other. My best advice to you (and yes, you’ll get lots of advice!) is to educate yourself. You have 9 months to prepare, and good preparation takes time. Ask lots of questions. Make sure you understand what is happening as your baby grows, and begin to take responsibility for your parenting now.

My favorite pregnancy website:

Other very good sites:

Childbirth

Preparing for Childbirth

  • My husband and I are thankful that someone recommended the Bradley Method to us. What a difference this made for us!
  • NaturalChildbirth.org- They have an extensive list of web resources as well as a forum where you can ask lots of questions.
  • You might want to consider having a doula with you when you go into labor and even into the early postpartum days. (A
    doula is a trained labor-support person who can give you continuity of care throughout labor and birth.)

Why Choose Natural Childbirth?

Labor and Childbirth

Breastfeeding

Other Infant Care

Infertility

We’ve had many visitors request some information on infertility. We pray that the following sites will be a blessing to you.

Parenting

Enjoying Children

Kids are so much fun… and there is so much to do with them!  We hope you enjoy these sites!

Fun Sites for Kids

  • Click Mazes – interactive puzzles and mazes
  • Paper Dolls
  • Betsy McCall Paper Dolls
  • Alphabet Soup — for the young and the “young at heart”! Alphabet Soup contains thematic units, holiday units, games and
    activities for kids; teacher and parent resources; and crafts, humor and recipes for all!  Be sure to check out the Kindergarten Kafe, recipes dictated by 5-year-olds!
  • If you can’t listen to Adventures in Odyssey on the radio, try listening on the Internet! We also love listening to Your Story Hour!
  • Do your kids like mazes?  Try this Maze Maker for your own, or go to Maze Box for some mazes that are ready-made.
  • Fun School – free interactive, educational software for kids
  • The Trivial Portal, the world’s largest trivia site
  • Chess Kids Academy — Teach your children how to play chess with their free online course
  • Free coloring pages for kids
  • Boys’ Life — The website for the Boyscout magazine, complete with activities, video games and more fun stuff for boys.
  • Play Clay Factory — Melissa P. writes, “This is the best play clay I have ever used.   A little pricey but the last bucket (I buy the preschool size buckets) lasted me about 3 years.  It smells great and it doesn’t make a crumbley mess everywhere.”
  • King’s Call is a fun, online adventure game, from Children’s Bible Hour
  • Webrangers is a kids’ site from the National Park Service
  • Horse lovers will love these coloring pages from the Windt Im Wald Farm.
  • Grandma sent us this fun Sand Art Painting site. My kids love it!
  • My children love to track the money they spend at Where’s George.

Toy Shops on the Internet

Toys aren’t cheap, and young families usually can’t afford to buy the newest and greatest toys for their kids.  But these toys looked so wonderful, we decided to include them anyway!  (Maybe you’re one of those creative people who could get some ideas for toys that you could make from things around the house — or from garage sale finds.)

  • I absolutely LOVE Love to Learn‘s catalog and website!
  • Any boy (or girl) who loves Legos will love their website!
  • Discovery Toys is the undisputed leader in quality educational toys.
  • Brio
  • Pedal Cars — “Still Bringing Joy to Children Everywhere”

Fun Activities

One of our favorite ideas — Preschool Activities in a Bag is a great book written by two homeschooling moms and tested by over 70 families with small children.  Very practical, great ideas for grandparents and babysitters to use with little ones, or wonderful for families who travel a lot (such as missionaries)!

To Make You Laugh and Cry

Click here for our favorite books for mothers.

>> Read about Priority #4

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